The Grimm Tales of Ragnarok
by pseudonymous-gibberish
Summary: The many tales of Ragnarok Online including "The Little Hooded Alchemist" and other stories...


**Little hooded Alchemist Who Went to Visit her Granny and Met a Wolf.**

**Author's Notes: **  
This was indeed absolutely random X'D  
I was bored one day without much RO and so this is the end result.  
Much fixed from original, the story hasn't changed.

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There was once a little alchemist who wore a hood, and like every good little child she had to listen to her mother, no matter how unreasonable she may be.  
And so as she was learning to create a small homunculus, her mother said:  
"Take this to your dear granny who is all the way in Payon, even if you're all the way here in Prontera." And so she went, as every little obedient girl with an unreasonable mother would do. 

Before she left, her mother warned her not to go off the path for, she says, "It would dirty your shoes". Of course, the little alchemist knew that beyond the road prowled a big hungry wolf just waiting to devour everyone who comes in his path, with his skill and cunning.

And so she left, walking towards the sleepy town known as Payon.  
Payon is a town beyond the forests. This meant an even higher risk of meeting a big hungry wolf for it can camouflage in bushes and trees. But she walked on, humming a tune.  
Not long after, she found some wild flowers growing outside the path. She thought, "Grandmother would love some flowers!" and went off the road to pick the flowers. It was then she realized that they were much too small. Besides, wild flowers looked cheap.  
And so with all her knowledge of alchemy, she created an enormous Flora!

Planting it in her little basket, she turned towards the road, only to come face to face with a creature with pointed ears, a tail and a mouth lined with fangs.  
"Hello Mr. Blacksmith!" she said without a second thought. The person sniffed at her.  
"Hello alchemist girl" he replied.  
"You sure look hungry Mr. Blacksmith!" She continued cheerfully. He looked a bit strange wagging his tail. "You haven't seen any big, bad, hungry, tailed, pointed eared, fanged, clawed wolves around, have you?"  
"Ara?" replied the 'blacksmith' as he scratched his head "No, I'm afraid I haven't" he continued as he desperately tried to hide his tail.  
"Okay then Mr. Blacksmith. Although it is an utterly dangerous and stupid thing to do, I'm going to tell you that heading towards my Granny's house which is situated on the edge of Payon! Have a nice day!"  
And so she left the 'blacksmith' who was quickly plotting the fastest route to Payon and his next dinner.

As she neared Payon, a small Lunatic came bolting at her.  
"Help, help!" it cried. Desperately trying to fly as arrows zipped through the air.  
"What is it little lunatic?" cried the little hooded alchemist, even if it was plainly obvious that the poor thing was being attacked by a rain of arrows.  
"An evil Hunter is trying to kill me!" it wailed.  
"I see, He won't kill you as long as I'm here!" she replied confidently and stood defiantly in front of the little lunatic (kids: Don't do this at home)

Out from the bushes, the Hunter emerged in his barrel like outfit. The Alchemist stared for the longest time before bellowing with intense rage:  
"A GAY HUNTER!" and threw as many acid bombs as she could. The Hunter died.

And once again she went on her way to Payon, placing the lunatic into her tiny basket (The flora inside ate the poor little lunatic. He was called Yuki) leaving the dead man in the forest.

When she arrived at her grandmother's cottage, she sensed something was very wrong. Besides the fact that the cupboard door was banging like mad, the tea cups were unwashed!  
"Granny, you forgot to wash the cups again!"  
"cough cough Sorry dear, I haven't been well for a while" came a hoarse voice.  
"My grandma, what hoarse voice you have!"  
"That's because I have caught a cold my dear." The little alchemist allowed it to pass, even if Payon remained in a stable weather for centuries now.  
"My grandma, how thin and long you look!"  
"Haven't been eating well my dear" was the reply, this also was passed, disregarding the fact that her grandma was extremely fat (perhaps even obese) and that her sudden lacking of body fat due to a non-existent cold in Payon, may be an absolute miracle. Of course, the thought her grandmother being rather short and stout never occurred to her.  
"My Grandma, what pointy wolfish looking ears you have!" exclaimed the little alchemist out of the blue.  
"That's to hear you better my dear, Animals have great sense of hearing!" the little alchemist looked at her 'grandmother' strangely as she clamped her hands to her mouth.  
"Ah." Once again, she let it the response pass, her Grandma was starting to go mad anyway.  
"My Grandma, What large eyes you have!"  
"That's to see you better dear" Was the reply. This was passed too, even if her Granny was blind for my years now...  
"My grandma, you have a tail!"  
"Yes, it seems to have grown out from old age." The alchemist let this pass as well, even if the human anatomy has specifically shown that a tail cannot just sprout from old age.  
"My Grandma! What claw like fingers you have!" The 'grandma' instantly hid her fingers under the bed covers, out of the inspecting alchemist's view.  
"Haven't been clipping much." She croaked. This of course was also impossible to the human anatomy.  
"My Grandma!"  
"**WHAT?**" growled her 'grandmother' receiving a strange look from the little alchemist. "Grandma! What a big mouth full of fangs you have!" The 'grandma' became quiet.  
"That..." she finally uttered, "Is...in order...to...**EAT YOU**!" The blacksmith wolf shed his disguise. The little alchemist gave a distressed scream and threw a frying pan at him, but he survived! Not only that, but he chased after her faster than before!

There was of course, no Hunter to cry out to for he was long dead by her massive acid bottle 'attack of desperation' against gay outfits.

Suddenly, an idea struck her! The little alchemist went for her little basket, opened the cover and out sprang the Flora! It swallowed up the wolf.  
The little alchemist went home after the long, eventful day, forgetting the former reasons he was there in the first place. The happy flora was planted over the garden of her granny which ate unsuspecting passersby. Her Granny continued to stay locked in the cupboard.

The End

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I am not responsible for any brain damages.  
Of course I tell you this by the end of the story. 


End file.
